Thursday, July 23, 2009

Thursday July 23rd

Ahoy,
[Insert introductory complaint about weather here] The Weather Channel is predicting 3 inches of rain over night, so after a few days of being taunted with beautiful weather, what has to be one of the more dismal summers in recent New England history continues. I apologize to the readers of this blog for the repetitiveness of each day's introduction, but as tedious as it is to read about my professions of boredom, just imagine what it would be like to live it. With any luck, my return to USC in three weeks will bring about more exciting (or at least mildly interesting) Daily occurrences. But until then I'll rely on world events in my efforts to entertain you. Which brings us to today's Daily Topic: MICROSOFT



At this point, you almost have to feel sorry for Microsoft. And while founder Bill Gates has offered very high praises of this blog, calling it "the best creation since the Internet," Microsoft's recent string of failures are just too easy of a target. Microsoft's fourth quarter revenue fell 17% and the company marked its first full-year revenue decline in its 34 year history. In January, Microsoft underwent large-scale layoffs for the first time and has focused on cost-cutting in a deteriorating PC market. And while the economic downturn is in part to blame, I think that the root causes are deeper. In reality, Microsoft's products, marketing and image is outdated and and out of touch with a majority of tech consumers. First, there was the Zune. This clearly failed attempt at an MP3 player was Microsoft's response to the wild popularity of the iPod. I can safely say that almost everyone I know owns an iPod and I couldn't name a single person who owns a Zune. Additionally, the 2007 to 2008 revenues for Zune were a miniscule $85 million compared to $3.37 billion of iPod earnings in the same time period. Next there was the highly anticipated Vista operating system that turned out to be a flop. Next there was the "I'm a PC" campaign, trying to entice customers by showing celebrities and pro athletes in their commercials, along with every other demographic imaginable. Yet Apple's Mac v. PC advertisements remained more effective. Then there was Bing!, Microsoft's albeit valiant attempt to rival Google in the realm of search engines. They launched an enthusiastic advertising campaign, claiming to give more relavant and specific search results. However, too little and MUCH too late. Google has established itself, for years, as the dominant search engine and, no matter how useful it is or how many exclamation points it adds, Bing! will not be able to change peoples' search habits. In fact, Google has become a major part of society and even become a common verb. And now Microsoft has announced that they will be opening retail stores instead of selling their products through stores such as WalMart. The stores will open this fall but only time will tell if they can match the sleek and bright simplicity of the Apple stores that have such mass appeal, especially among the younger generation. However, it is my belief that Microsoft's time has come to pass and that Apple's popularity will only continue to grow. That being said, tuck that Zune away and sell it on eBay in 20 years, and check out the latest knockoffs of Apple products when the Microsoft stores open this fall.
-ROF

Daily Food: Flank Steak

Daily Activity: Divesting in Microsoft

Daily Attire: Sweats

Daily News Everyone Should Care About: Dow Rises Above 9,000 for First Time Since January

Daily News No One Should Care About: Taco Bell Dog Takes Last Bow-Wow

Daily Life Goal: Revisit Africa

Daily Complaint: Ignorance

Daily Drink: Coke

Daily Movie: Prom Night In Mississippi - HBO Originial Documentary

Daily Book: Manhunt - The 12 Day Search For Lincoln's Killer

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Tuesday July 21st

Greetings,
It's Tuesday and rain has returned to Andover, which means I have even less to do than normal. So while I await the latest episode of NYC Prep, I have plenty of time to peruse the internet for TDR-worthy material. And while TextsFromLastNight.com is amusing and the endless re-coverage of the moonlanding is mildly interesting, there could only be one that makes the final cut. With the recent release of the sixth Harry Potter movie, the Potter fan world has come out in full force for one of the last few Potter-related releases. With only two movies left (the final book is being split into two movie installments), the opportunities to attend midnight releases and show your true colors as a Harry Potter fan are dwindling. How ever will Harry fans worldwide be able to interact with others who are as obsessed as they are? Well the Warner Brothers franchise thinks that they have the answer. And that brings us to today's Daily Topic: THE HARRY POTTER THEME PARK



Yes, it's true. Warner Brothers and Universal Studios have joined forces to create a fully Harry Potter themed amusement park. The 20 acre complex in Orlando, which is scheduled to open in 2010, is rumored to include a Hogwarts castle, a Hogsmeade village and a Forbidden Forest that will include rides and adventures. The opening of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter represents yet another multimillion dollar success for the J.K. Rowling's magical series. The park is bound to attract hundreds of thousands of visitors a year from the casual movie-goer to the most obsessed fans. But as with all things, we must ask: what's next? And for that, I have the answer. While a Harry Potter theme park will provide a day in a magical fantasy world for fans, what about those who want to completely delve themselves as deep as possible into a recreation of a wizarding world? That's why I am proposing, in this forum, on this day, the first ideas for a Harry Potter Wizarding Community. Drawing on the concepts of gated communities, I suggest that Warner Brothers teams up with a developing company and build a Hogwarts castle with units for rent. In addition, there would be small village complete with the full array of wizarding shops. As ridiculous as this may seem to some, there are thousands of people who would pay top dollar to be able to be a part of such a concept. While some communities have rules on lawn and house appearance, this community would have a dress code of strictly wizarding robes. In addition to supplying a dream come true for the most enthusiastic of Harry Potter fans, there would also be a number of employment opportunites for castle-maintenence people and shopkeepers. While a themed amusement park is a good idea, this, in my opinion, is sheer brilliance. Plus, I've heard the housing market is great right now. Contact me if you are interested in investing.
-ROF

Daily Food: Ravioli

Daily Activity: Dental Cleaning

Daily Song: Rasta Courage - Soldiers of Jah Army

Daily Attire: Anything Rain-Soaked

Daily News Everyone Should Care About: Seeing Perils Yet to Come, Fed Aims to Hold Down Rate

Daily News No One Should Care About: 600 Pound Tortoise Too Big For Zoo

Daily Life Goal: Develop Harry Potter Castle

Daily Complaint: The Dentist

Daily Drink: San Pelegrino Orange Sparkling Beverage

Daily Television: The Office

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Saturday July 18th

Hello Everyone,
First and foremost, I would like to acknowledge the passing of a great American, Walter Cronkite. His death represents the end of an era in news broadcasting and, sadly, seems to have gone relatively unnoticed. It saddens me that the death of a man who dedicated decades of his life to covering the most important news stories of the last 50 years and was one of the most trusted and highly regarded public figures during the peak of his career has garnered only a fraction of the attention of the death of Michael Jackson. I wish, as I so often do, that the rest of the country and particularly the media, could get its priorities straight. Walter Cronkite is a great loss to America and he will be missed.
Now, as many of you know, the job market this summer has been difficult, to say the least. All over the country, thousands of college students have been struggling to find employment, yours truly included. Thanks to those of you who click the advertisements on this page, I manage a monthly income of about $20 dollars (alas, I must accumulate $100 of earnings to receive any of this money). But while this might have been a suitable monthly income for a 20 year old in the 1920s, it is hardly enough now. And during my job search this summer, I have looked for almost any job that I could do with my minimal qualifications. But however minimal my qualifications are, I like to think that I would be more employable than, say, a homeless person. Not so. And that brings us to our Daily Topic: HOMELESS CAPITOL HILL LOBBYISTS



Okay so they're not quite lobbyists but they are a mere degree away. Capitol Hill lobbyists have begun to hire Washington D.C.'s homeless for one of the most strenuous and demanding jobs in our nation's capital: standing in line. During Senate hearings on all types of bills, a certain amount of seats within the hearings are reserved for special interest lobbyist groups. However, the number of these seats is limited and lobbyists were forced to wait in line for hours and hours to secure a place within the chamber walls. But not any more. Lobbyist groups have begun to pay the homeless between $11 and $35 per hour to wait in line, sometimes up to 20 or 30 hours. The time in the Senate hearings is coveted because it is often the only opportunities the lobbyist groups have to interact with senators on a face-to-face basis.
Now, as much as I admire the work ethic of these homeless and the generosity of those who employ them, I have to ask myself what it is that makes me less employable than a homeless person? And sadly, with the exception of my enrollment in a 4-year institution, I have come to the conclusion that it is because I, in fact, am unemployed and (more or less) homeless. The man covered by the news story that I read had been living in a shelter. I am living in my parents' house. On his own, he could not support himself. Neither could I. Sadly, I have come to terms with the fact the vagrancy and vagabond-ness which my summer has embodied does not even qualify me to stand in line. So next time you visit Andover and need someone to stand in line for you, look for me on the sidewalk outside of CVS with a bottle in a paper bag and a sign which reads: Blog Isn't Funny, Will Stand For Cash.
-ROF

Daily Food: Sourdough Grilled Cheese

Daily Activity: Scrabble

Daily Song: Norwegian Wood - The Beatles

Daily Attire: Glasses

Daily News Everyone Should Care About: Walter Cronkite, 92, Dies; Trusted Voice of TV News

Daily News No One Should Care About: Teen's Numb Thumbs Caused By Texting

Daily Life Goal: Be Paid to Stand In Line

Daily Complaint: Boredom

Daily Drink: Root Beer

Daily Television: The Money List

Daily Movie: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Sunday July 12th

Hello Readers,
Welcome to The Daily Routine. Or should I say, the internationally acclaimed Daily Routine. Our readers have gone global and stretch from Spain to Denmark to South Korea. I can only imagine the joy and and entertainment that my words are bringing to the corners of the known world. Additionally, we have spanned across almost 20% of the United States, bringing witty fodder to 9 great states and New Jersey. Speaking of great entertainment that spans the globe, I just finished watching the season premiere of one of my favorite TV shows. And that brings us to today's Daily Topic: THE ENTOURAGE SEASON PREMIERE:



I'll warn you before we go any further that if you have not seen this episode, you should watch it first and then continue reading. For those of you unfamiliar with the show, it follows the life of a Hollywood movie star, Vincent Chase, and his three sidekicks. The show is revolutionary in the way that it attempts as much as possible to portray the actual everyday life of a movie star. Each episode includes cameos by celebrities playing themselves around town in LA. Some, such as Mandy Moore and Jamie Lynn Sigler of the Sopranos, even had/have recurring roles on the show. Entourage has even been filmed courtside at Laker games and at a U2 concert in which Bono gave a shout out to a character, as well as dozens of other popular LA hotspots. We pick up the sixth season with main character Vince making his comeback into the movie world after his disastrous performance as an actor/producer in a movie he spent all of his money on. In Vince's new movie, he stars as Nick Carraway in Martin Scorcese's modern-day "Great Gatsby". However, in the season premiere, we see Vince starting to become more of a modern day Jay Gatsby. As the rest of his pals begin to stray from the life of constant partying and one night stands, they start to seek more serious relationships and their own places to live, two things we know from past seasons Vince has little to no experience with. For the last five seasons, the Entourage crew has lived in the same house, whether it be Marlon Brando's former mansion, Jessica Alba's beach house or crashing on the couch of Johnny Drama's condo. However, at the end of this season's premiere, we see Vince returning home to a dark and deserted mansion. This, combined with the Gatsby talk and Vince's abysmal driving provide some eerie references and foreshadowing to "The Great Gatsby" and suggest that maybe Vince should stay away from from his pool after any hit-and-run accidents he may be in as a result of his newly (and undeservedly) procured driver's license. On a different note, we will also see this season (hopefully) the coming of age of Lloyd, Vince's agent's (Ari) assistant. After Lloyd demands a promotion, Ari informs him he will undergo a 100 day hazing period in which he will do whatever task Ari asks of him. Sounds like my first semester of college. However, I believe that, in addition to the sheer humor of the requests that Ari will come up with, this story line serves as a subliminal reminder of the difficulties of the current job market. While a hundred days of hazing may be a bit of a stretch, I believe Entourage seeks to show the difficulties of gaining higher employment in the current economy. Or maybe it's just the same old shallow show we've known for the last six years about partying, chasing girls and living the lavish lifestyle of a movie star. I guess the rest of Season 6 will let us know. LLOYYYYYYYD!!
-ROF

Daily Food: Chips and Salsa

Daily Activity: Sailing

Daily Song: Scarlet Begonias - The Grateful Dead

Daily Attire: 80s Shirts

Daily News Everyone Should Care About: Goldman Sachs May Report Strong Profits

Daily News No One Should Care About: Shuttle Launch Scrbbed for Second Straight Day

Daily Life Goal: Bronze

Daily Complaint: Sore Throat

Daily Drink: Fiji Water

Daily Television: Entourage Season Premiere

Daily Movie: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Thursday July 9th

Rise and Shine Readers,
It's 5:30 EDT and I can't sleep. Maybe it's that I'm too bored to sleep. Maybe it's the thrill of victory from winning an entire $2 ($2 more than my weekly salary) at poker earlier in the evening. Maybe it's the adrenaline rush I got from naming all 195 of the world's countries in 9 minutes 29 seconds (Beat me, I challenge you). Regardless, although I am awake, much of the Eastern Seaboard of the United States will be rising shortly for a new day. In the next few hours, millions will begrudgingly struggle out of bed, only to dream all day of being able to go back there. And this brings us to our Daily Topic: ALARM CLOCKS

Now there are few if any topics in this world on which everyone can come to a consensus on. However, I am willing to bet that almost every person worldwide has at one time thought that the alarm clock is the most vile, abhorrent and loathsome invention known to mankind. There is nothing like being awakened from a warm and peaceful sleep by the torturous sound, whatever it may be, of your alarm clock. The worst part? They're becoming even more evil. For several hundred years, since its invention in 1559 in the Ottoman Empire, the alarm clock served one purpose: make an obnoxious noise at a certain time (it makes you wonder what peoples' excuses for being late in the morning were before them). However, with the dawn of the digital age, the wrath of the alarm clock loosened slightly because of two factors. First, the ability to wake up to music or radio. No longer is a single volume bell necessary to give you near-heart failure when it is time to get up. Second is snooze. Oh snooze. Both a blessing and a curse. Never before have seven minutes of extra sleep felt so good. Never before have I been able to multiply my seven's times table so well. But the snooze button represented a serious waning in the effectiveness of this cruel machine. It is much too easy to hit snooze for an hour and convince yourself that your pillow is much more interesting than 9:30 Spanish.
However, to amend for their brief lull in tyranny, the alarm clocks are coming back more ferociously than ever. There are many new alarm clocks that are more dedicated than ever to get you out of bed, but here are the three most cruel. First, the Laser Target alarm clock, which consists of a small target and a laser pointer. You place the target across the room and when the alarm goes off, you must hit the minuscule center of the target with your laser pointer in order to shut off the alarm. Even more of a downside: no snooze at all. Second, is the Sfera alarm clock, a white orb that dangles menacingly over your bed at all times. When the Sfera alarm goes off, you reach up and touch the ball to snooze the alarm. However, each time you hit snooze, the wire holding the ball retracts further and further into your ceiling until you are forced to get up and turn it off. Lastly, and most cruel of all, is the Jigsaw Puzzle alarm clock. On top of this alarm clock is a circle composed of four, plastic jigsaw pieces. When the alarm goes off, the pieces are launched into the air, scattering about your room. The ONLY way to turn off the alarm is to retrieve and reassemble the pieces of the puzzle. Pure evil. But as analog alarms become more obsolete, I predict (saddeningly) a new array of alarms and obstacles in the near future. I, as I'm sure many others do, use my cell phone as my alarm. With the rise of smart phones, it is likely that applications for Blackberry, iPhone etc. will include alarms with all sorts of puzzles, similar to Gmail's drunk-email-proof math quizzes. You should just pray it's not "name the world's 195 countries" or only me and a select few will be snoozing in the future.
-ROF

Daily Food: Barbecued Pork Chops

Daily Activity: Poker

Daily Song: Jukebox Hero - Foreigner

Daily Attire: Pink/White Striped Button Down

Daily News Everyone Should Care About: Peirsol Breaks Record

Daily News No One Should Care About: Man Dies After Falling Into Vat of Chocolate Damn You Wonka!!

Daily Life Goal: See the Sun Before Summer is Over

Daily Complaint: Rain

Daily Drink: Nantucket Nectars Orange Mango

Daily Television: Jeopardy

Daily Movie : Claim

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Sunday July 5th

Hello and a Happy Belated Independence Day,
The mustachio'd Daily Routine staff has just returned home from a brief vacation in Vermont. For those of you unfamiliar with this vast green wilderness, wireless internet is hard to come by. It was a miracle that I even had cell phone service (a new development might I add). But I survived the torrential rains, the torture of outdoor museums and lack of any type of cable and have made it back to civilization. Anyways, those of you who know me know that I am a voracious reader. I generally conquer a novel a day along with the daily newspapers and weekly magazines. Some of my favorite materials include the New York Times, The Atlantic Monthly, The New England Medical Journal and, of course, AARP Magazine. Which brings us to our Daily Topic: CANE-FU



I was recently perusing AARP Magazine, one of my favorite periodicals which I have to seek out on my own because they won't send it to you unless you're 65. Between articles teaching me how to boost my memory and how to make sure that my cholesterol stays down, I stumbled upon the following: "So you're worried about your safety after dark, and you've though about trying to buy, oh, a stun gun, or maybe a light saber [let's pause and consider for a moment if senior citizens actually equate these concepts or believe that they are equally either difficult or easy to come by. Perhaps someone should alert the seniors that although Star Wars came out 30 years ago we still indeed do NOT have light saber technology] Not necessary. All you need is your cane." Intriguing. I read on to discover a that a growing method of self defense is sweeping the senior citizen scene. It is called cane-fu and combines several defensive maneuvers with the use of a cane. The most basic defensive move is simply thrusting the cane into the stomache of chest of the assailant. However, more advanced techniques like the wrist-hook and combinations of hooks, jabs, and kicks are also taught. At the suggestion of the article, I visited the Cane Masters International Association website. On it, you can sign up for seminars and classes, order instructional materials and even order a wide variety of canes and walking sticks. Additionally, the Wall Street Journal recently ran an article online which included diagrams and videos of cane-fu. So next time you're thinking of snatching the purse of that old woman with the cane on the sidewalk, think twice. And for gods sake make sure she doesn't have a light saber.
-ROF

Daily Food: Hot Dogs

Daily Activity: Driving

Daily Song: Seventeen Years - Ratatat

Daily Attire: Orange Tie Dye Shirt

Daily News Everyone Should Care About: Honduras is Rattled as Leader's Return is Blocked

Daily News No One Should Care About: Lucky Fans Get News on Jackson Memorial Tickets

Daily Life Goal: Go To Wimbledon

Daily Complaint: Those Little Stick-Figure Family Things That People Have on Their Cars

Daily Drink: Coke

Daily Television: Wimbledon Final

Daily Movie (Theater): Away We Go

Daily Movie (TV): Independence Day

Daily Movie (DVD): Top Gun

Daily Book: 1984

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Wednesday July 1st

Bienvenidos,
It's the first day of July and it is still raining here in Andover. Not sure how much longer I can deal with that. And while I am as bored as ever, I'm sure that you, the reader, have very busy summers. But regardless, I will write today in the hopes that you are looking for some evening entertainment. Not many TDR-worthy events happen in my everyday life. I got a hair cut today. But that is a Twitter-worthy event for which this is not the forum. So with this lack of material, I have decided to continue our most recent series. Which brings us to our Daily Topic, the latest installment of: AFRICAN COUNTRIES THAT YOU DON'T KNOW



This evening, we fill focus on the small African country of Burundi. This land-locked country is surrounded by Tanzania, Rwanda, and the Democratic Republic of the Congo. However, several hundred miles of its border are along Lake Tanganyika. Ceded to Belgium from Germany after the First World War, Burundi has been plagued with violence and civil war since its independence from Belgium in 1962. The Hutu-Tutsi strife, often associated with neighboring Rwanda (which used to be part of Burundi), has been the root of this conflict. To this day, conflicts between the two ethnic groups continue. From 2004-6, The UN conducted peace-keeping missions within Burundi and is now engaged in reconstruction efforts in the devastated country. Coming in at 172 of 179 on the Human Development Index, Burundi is one of the poorest countries in the world and has the world's lowest GDP per capita at $138 (compared to $46,859 in the United States). About 80% of the country lives in poverty and one study ranked Burundi as having the lowest satisfaction for life. Perhaps the UN should conduct some Zoloft airlifts into the country. Burundi tops last week's country, The Gambia, in its failure to live up to its national motto: "Unity, Work, Progress." While The Gambia failed in only "Progress" and "Prosperity", Burundi manages to achieve failing marks in all three of their categories. So in conclusion, if you're feeling down and depressed with your life, please don't visit Burundi.

Daily Food: Cheese Omlette

Daily Activity: Haircut

Daily Song: Waters of Nazareth - Justice

Daily Attire: Mustaches

Daily News Everyone Should Care About: Compromise is Sought to Standoff in Honduras

Daily News No One Should Care About: Jackson's Will Could Set Off Legal Struggle Over Estate

Daily Life Goal: NOT Visit Burundi

Daily Complaint: Rain

Daily Drink: Lemon Seltzer

Daily Television: Eastbound and Down

Daily Movie: Blood Diamond, bru

Daily Book: On The Road