Wednesday September 23rd

Hello Readers,
I, as well as many of my schoolmates, have experienced the cruel and abrupt acceleration of school work over the weekend. The first three weeks of introductions, readings and lectures has resulted in week of assignments, quizzes, tests and papers. So what better way to procrastinate studying for my Leadership and Diplomacy test than to write a Daily Routine? And what better way for you to procrastinate than by reading it? Foolproof. And while I could write about President Obama's attempts to restart Israeli/Palestinian peace talks, Colonel Qaddafi's nonsensical tirade at the United Nations General Assembly, or the California wildfires, there is one timely event that is close to my heart (or liver). And that brings us to today's Daily Topic: GUINNESS



Tomorrow, at 17:59 Greenwich (or Guinness) Main Time, tens of thousands of people will raise their harp-adorned pint glasses in the worldwide celebration of Guinness' 250 anniversary. The appropriate toast, according to the Guinness ad campaign, is simply "to Arthur," in honor of Arthur Guinness, the founder of the famous brew.

According to the Guinness website (don't tell them I lied about my age to access it), the event commemorates the day in 1759 that Arthur Guinness signed a 9,000 year lease on the St. James Gate Brewery in Dublin. Let's pause for a moment and consider that statement.

A 9,000 year lease. This raises several questions in my mind. First, exactly how drunk did these countrymen of my great-grandparents have to be to draw up that contract? Guinness agreed to pay around $66 per year rent on the property, with an initial deposit of around $100. My second question: how confident do you have to be in your product to sign a 9,000 year lease? With this year's anniversary, he has only reached the end of the first 1/36th of his lease. Finally, was Guinness actually a brilliant businessman and is the Guinness brewery still paying only $66 a year?

So what makes Guinness so special? Well, not being of age and therefore unable to drink Guinness, I cannot tell you firsthand (cough). However, one of the secrets of Guinness' uniqueness is, quite literally, a simple element. When poured, Guinness Draught is infused with nitrogen which gives the beer a thick head and the microbubbles that sometimes appear to be flowing downward.

The dark beer also has some curious health properties. It contains less calories per pint than a glass of orange juice, milk, or a regular draft beer. Additionally, it contains antioxidants which slow down the deposition of cholesterol on artery walls. In the 1920s Guinness ran an advertising campaign which claimed, "Guinness is Good for You." Understandably, this slogan had to be abandoned several decades ago to prevent lawsuits.

The serving process is also an important part of a proper pint of Guinness. The company maintains that a "perfect pour" should last approximately 119.53 seconds (approximately). The loading screens on their website also cleverly load to 119.5 rather than 100%. Additionally, the company sells a special contraption which, when you place a pint glass of specially canned Guinness on it, releases an ultrasonic pulse through the beer, releasing the nitrogen and creating the creamy, out-of-the-keg head.

So if you're in the mood for some afternoon drinking tomorrow (depending on your time zone), raise a pint to Arthur and enjoy a taste of history.

-ROF

Daily Food: Steak and Cheese

Daily Activity: Heritage Appreciation

Daily Song: Sunday Bloody Sunday - U2

Daily Attire: Nantucket Tank Top

Daily News Everyone Should Care About: Obama Makes Gains at U.N. on Iran and Nuclear Weapons

Daily News No One Should Care About: Qaddafi Delivers Rambling Diatribe

Daily Life Goal: Tour The Guinness Factory in Dublin Sometime in the next 8,750 years

Daily Complaint: IR 303 Test

Daily Drink: Guinness, It's Good For You

Daily Television: The Office

Daily Movie: Beerfest

Sunday September 20th

Readers,
The Daily Routine is back with a new installment. Regretfully, I have been swept up in the perpetual busy-ness of being a good student/intern and it has left me surprisingly little free time to write. I have even had so much work to do that I'm behind on my Facebooking, a startling turn around from the summer months. But now that I have a break from hundreds of mortgage modification cases or mind-bending questions of the possibilities of time travel, I am back to bring you the most pressing issues facing the human race. And that brings us to our Daily Topic: KILLER SEAWEED



About a week ago, a truck in France careened of the road and into a brick wall. The driver had died at the wheel from a most unlikely cause: killer seaweed.

The northwestern French town of Saint-Michel-en-Greve has been plagued by massive amounts of a type of sea lettuce called Ulva lactuca washing up on shore. The seaweed, when it decays, releases a poisonous hydrogen sulfide gas that can be fatal to humans.

In addition to the truck driver, the murderous aquatic vegetation has claimed the life of a horse which was being ridden across the nearby sand. The unconscious rider was dragged to safety before he inhaled too many of the toxic fumes.

The truck driver had been involved a government clean-up project to remove the seaweed from the beach. His truck was loaded with hundreds of pounds of seaweed and he had not been wearing a mask or gloves when handling the seaweed. French environmental authorities found that the concentration of the gas could be "deadly in a few minutes."

What most news agencies didn't report is that the seaweed was not just a freak of nature. Contrary to popular belief, the thousands of tons of vegetation was a carefully planted (no pun intended) al-Qaeda terrorist attack. In Osama bin Laden's latest video he took credit for the death and warned the United States infidels that the shores of the Eastern Seaboard were next.

The US terror alert level has subsequently been raised to orange and Glenn Beck has been the first to declare President Obama soft on seaweed defense.

Stay on your toes,
-ROF

Daily Food: Yard House Sliders

Daily Activity: Homework

Daily Song: I Wanna Know Now - Bob Marley and MGMT Remix

Daily Attire: Boat Shoes

Daily News Everyone Should Care About: Obama to Meet With Mideast Leaders in Bid to Restart Talks

Daily News No One Should Care About: Ex-Stripper Says Priest Fathered Child

Daily Life Goal: Go One Season Without Losing to an Unranked PAC-10 Team

Daily Complaint: USC Football

Daily Drink: Leinenkugel Sunset Wheat

Daily Television: The Office

Daily Movie: Boondock Saints

Monday September 7th

Readers,
When I returned to school, I was excited for the endless amount of things I could accomplish with a four day weekend and two days of class. However, in a sad and unfortunate turn of events (9-5, unpaid internship Mondays and Fridays), my four day weekend became a mere two days (college blasphemy) and the rest of my hours have become consumed with school work, exercise, and, eh, socializing. The obvious negative externality of this now rigorous schedule (and the fact that I stopped bringing my computer to class) is a lack of time to write Daily Routines. But I promise to try my hardest to keep you entertained. So without further ado we will proceed to today's Daily Topic: GREAT WHITES ON CAPE COD



For my West Coast readers who sadly lack knowledge of East Coast geography, Cape Cod is the extension of southeastern Massachusetts that extends into the Atlantic Ocean in a hook shape. And on the southeastern corner of Cape Cod lies my favorite seaside town of Chatham. Besides being home to the world's best salt water taffy, Chatham provides a summer getaway spot for tens of thousands of vacationers.

But Chatham, and its Lighthouse Beach in particular, has had a rough couple of weeks. The last time I saw Lighthouse Beach was on CNN while residents and vacationers alike prepared for a week of squalls with the approach of Hurricane Bill. With rip tides and high surf warnings, lifeguards and beach officials closed the beaches to swimmers.

Now Chatham's beaches are closed again. On Saturday, as many as five great white sharks were spotted within 75 yards of the coast, forcing thousands of Labor Day-weekenders out of the water. Two of the sharks were tagged by marine biologists, as to track their migratory patterns.

Great whites, one of the world's most dangerous and predatory sharks, are rarely sighted off of the New England coast. But as you may know from watching all 168 hours of Shark Week, shark attacks are actually very rare. And while you may hear about them more often than lightning strikes, shark attacks are literally several hundreds or even thousands of times less likely. Massachusetts has tallied only four shark attacks since 1670. A statistic that really only makes you wonder who was recording shark attacks in the 1670s.

Now you may know all of this, but what you don't know was that I was nearly the fifth victim of this Bay State statistic. In the last week of July, while on a short vacation to the Cape, I was enjoying an early morning, high tide, skim and body board session. The waves, a modest 2-4 feet high, had a beautiful righthand break and the beach was peaceful and empty.

Suddenly, a lifeguard ATV came barreling down the beach, stopping in the sand in front of where I was in the water. They blared their siren and waved me in. I paddled in and they informed me that they had spotted a shark by the buoy up the beach, just a bit further out than where I had been, and it had been swimming along the beach towards me. For some inexplicable reason, they told me that until it was confirmed, I could go back out but they just wanted to inform me. I decided that I valued my limbs and stayed on shore.

And while the statistics are low, anyone who has ever seen the Planet Earth about Shallow Seas has to be weary of great whites. Because nothing makes you more scared about a 1 in 11 million chance of being attacked than seeing a sea lion bitten in half and slowed down 64 times. Cue Jaws music.
-ROF

Daily Food: Burritos

Daily Activity: Checking My Swagg

Daily Song: Pursuit of Happiness (Feat. MGMT and Ratatat) - KiD CuDi

Daily Attire: USC Attire

Daily News Everyone Should Care About: Fake Afghan Poll Sites Favored Karzai, Officials Say

Daily News No One Should Care About: NFL's Merriman arrested, accused of choking Tila Tequila

Daily Life Goal: Never Work on Labor Day Again

Daily Complaint: Working on Labor Day

Daily Drink: Jamba Juice

Daily Television: Planet Earth

Daily Movie: Friday Night Lights

Daily Brush With Fame: Partying with the P E Boyz