Sunday September 20th

Readers,
The Daily Routine is back with a new installment. Regretfully, I have been swept up in the perpetual busy-ness of being a good student/intern and it has left me surprisingly little free time to write. I have even had so much work to do that I'm behind on my Facebooking, a startling turn around from the summer months. But now that I have a break from hundreds of mortgage modification cases or mind-bending questions of the possibilities of time travel, I am back to bring you the most pressing issues facing the human race. And that brings us to our Daily Topic: KILLER SEAWEED



About a week ago, a truck in France careened of the road and into a brick wall. The driver had died at the wheel from a most unlikely cause: killer seaweed.

The northwestern French town of Saint-Michel-en-Greve has been plagued by massive amounts of a type of sea lettuce called Ulva lactuca washing up on shore. The seaweed, when it decays, releases a poisonous hydrogen sulfide gas that can be fatal to humans.

In addition to the truck driver, the murderous aquatic vegetation has claimed the life of a horse which was being ridden across the nearby sand. The unconscious rider was dragged to safety before he inhaled too many of the toxic fumes.

The truck driver had been involved a government clean-up project to remove the seaweed from the beach. His truck was loaded with hundreds of pounds of seaweed and he had not been wearing a mask or gloves when handling the seaweed. French environmental authorities found that the concentration of the gas could be "deadly in a few minutes."

What most news agencies didn't report is that the seaweed was not just a freak of nature. Contrary to popular belief, the thousands of tons of vegetation was a carefully planted (no pun intended) al-Qaeda terrorist attack. In Osama bin Laden's latest video he took credit for the death and warned the United States infidels that the shores of the Eastern Seaboard were next.

The US terror alert level has subsequently been raised to orange and Glenn Beck has been the first to declare President Obama soft on seaweed defense.

Stay on your toes,
-ROF

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