Friday May 8th

Sawubona,
For those of you not in Zimbabwe, hello. It's Friday and, naturally, that is synonymous with beach day here in Los Angeles. So as I sit here nursing my sunburned shoulders, face, back, and neck, I faithfully report to you on the exciting events of my life. And while I could begin studying for my finals that are next Tuesday, I could also not. And that seems like a better option. So I began my search for Friday night entertainment. After an eight course meal at the exclusive, 2-9 Cafe, I returned home for a scotch, a cigar and some fine conversation. And that's been my evening so far. But I won't bore you with the particulars of my action-filled life of high society and social ladder-climbing. Let's move on to today's Daily Topic: THE MALDIVES


Now, I understand that you're all not extremely well-learned in geography like myself (Fifth grade geography bee champion), so I'll enlighten you. The Maldives is an island country in the Indian Ocean southwest of India. A group of 26 atolls, the Maldives contains 250 inhabited islands. A former British colony, the Maldives has a population of about 396,000 people and a GDP of 1.26 billion dollars, coincidentally my exact net worth. As a scholar of geography, I now know the exact processes behind the formation of an atoll. As a mid-sea volcano erodes and sinks into the sea, the coral reef that forms in a circle around the island continues to grow, producing a ring of low islands. The Maldives currently holds the world record for lowest average height of a country with 4 feet, their highest point being only 7 feet above sea level. But holding this world record is something like holding the record for highest fall survived from an aircraft: you don't want it.

With even a slight rise in the world's sea level that is predicted to occur in the near future, most of the Maldives could be submerged. This has prompted president Mohamed Nasheed to make two major announcements. 1. The Maldives is striving to become the first carbon-neutral country in the world. Doesn't seem to difficult when your major industries are composed of tourism, fish processing, shipping, boat building, coconut processing, garments, woven mats, rope, handicrafts, coral and sand mining. (Yes, woven mats, rope and coral? are included in major industries in the CIA World Factbook). 2. The Maldives has looked into purchasing land in Australia, India and Sri Lanka to (wait for it): RELOCATE THEIR COUNTRY. Yes, according to the New York Times, the Maldives, using their revenue from tourism (73% of their GDP) are trying to buy a new location for their country. Talk about a losing attitude. My proposition? Build the world's first underwater country. What would be cooler than a vacation to a completely fiberglass, underwater country. When life gives you lemons, make an underwater country, is I believe how the saying goes. Or talk to the United Arab Emirates. I heard they're looking for a new place to build even more islands.
Out**,
-ROF

**Note: I attempted to research how a Maldivian native would say hello or goodbye. However, salutations and goodbyes are rarely expressed in the Maldives unless in a highly formal setting. Instead, smiles or a raised eye brow serves as a greeting accompanied by the question: "Where are you going?" and followed up by, "what for?"

Daily Food: 29 Chicken Fingers

Daily Activity: Beach Volleyball

Daily Song: Amsterdam - Guster

Daily Attire: Aloe

Daily News Everyone Should Care About: Wanted - A New Home for My Country

Daily News No One Should Care About: Pasta Lady Delivers Door-to-Door

Daily Life Goal: Vacation in Maldives Before They Sink

Daily Complaint: Sunburn

Daily Drink: Margs

Daily Studies: Geography

Daily Movie: Wedding Crashers